when the time is right, it will happen

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“It took almost 5 years to conceive. As every couple, we too gave a gap of one year and then we started planning for a child, which was not happening. So, during the third year we started visiting hospitals thinking that there might be some problem but, all the reports were normal. I started changing doctors, we started going to all possible places where we thought I could conceive. However, nothing happened.”

Roseline Luke, shares her experiences and her journey of trying to fulfill her dream, trying to conceive a child.

Having a child is a blessing they say and, Roseline was all set to have her own. However, things were falling apart for them. “I started facing problems in the society. People were asking me, how will you conceive, when will you conceive, why aren’t you conceiving. So I started avoiding celebrations and going out. I tried and ignored all those people who used to raise questions about me not having a baby at the right time. I was not even sure about what was happening in my system itself.” Societal pressure can be extremely harmful for an individual. From studies, to marriage to having children, grandchildren, and then to old age, the society stresses on a certain norm that has to be followed, and that leads to immense pressure on those who are not adhering to their rules. “I shed a lot of tears during those 5 years. Every month, I used to keep a check on my cycle and if it delayed, I would immediately go get checked. However, I had no hope, the reports were always negative. I was completely broken down in those 5-6 days during that week.

The trauma that I went through mentally cannot be explained to anyone because, my family did not force me, but I wanted to have a child desperately. I felt it was high time that I had a family.”

“We also started praying about it, and visiting many hospitals. I took the medicines that the doctors gave me, blindly. But, nothing worked out!” Roseline was eager to have a child of her own. As a cherry on top, the society played its role in her life and that made her take drastic actions on her body. “I stopped taking pregnancy tests itself, I did not want to go through that every month. My mom was the only one who knew the tears that I shed after every cycle. Even before I conceived, in the month of January I had very high expectations of being a mother soon. Once again,I was completely shattered. I understood that there is no way I can conceive.” Roseline started to think of adopting a child, and many thoughts passed through her mind as she went through this difficult phase of her life.

“God was faithful enough to fulfil my dreams, and yes it was a miracle! On February 10th, I went in for a checkup and to my surprise, my first pregnancy test was positive. I could not believe it. I had no words to express, I was completely stunned. I felt like the sky was not my limit, our happiness had no bounds.” Roseline was asked not to share this news with anybody, not even with her family members. However, she went in for a second pregnancy test and the results were positive again. Roseline was not even able to describe the emotions that she went through when she heard the news.

“After conceiving I had a desire to give birth to twins. In a span of 5 years, I should have had two children. So I started to dream again. When I went in for my first scan, my doctor told me that I was not only carrying one baby, but two. I was going to give birth to twins. Oh the excitement was unfathomable.” Roseline says that she had many complications during the first few months of her pregnancy. She was scared as well, not knowing if she would actually complete her term. She took one day at a time, confessing, and going slow. “On 17th September 2017, I gave birth to my babies. A boy and a girl.”

“Yes, I was affected by the society. But my message to all those women who want to conceive and are taking time to, please do have patience. When it is the right time, trust me it will turn out to be very beautiful. Wait for your time, everything will fall into place. To all those women who taunt those who are trying to conceive, please allow them to breathe, let them live and show them some love. Please do not make them feel like they are good for nothing.”

“I thank my family and my husband for always being there for me as a strong pillar of strength.

-Tabitha Kumar

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